a passage of my article
Racism is a problem that still exists in this day and age. All though racism is frowned upon, people still continue to indulge it. Racism can be shown in many forms, through slavery, hatred and unspeakable crimes and even through rejection. All though there is no more slavery in the United States; there is still racial and social inequality
In the New York Times article, “In Job Hunt, College Degree Can’t Close Racial Gap” Michael Luo quotes The Journal of Labor Economics “Discrimination in many cases many not even be intentional, some job seekers pointed out, but simply a matter of people gravitating toward similar people, casting about for the right “cultural fit,” a buzzword often heard in corporate circles.” What the quote is saying is, employers not always looking to discriminate but subconsciously it does happen. The excuse or term they give to be political correct and not accuse of being racist is cultural fit.
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Good job using a 'sandwich' with that quote in your second paragraph. See if you can do a little more to explain it. What do you think the term 'cultural fit' means in this context?
ReplyDeleteAlso, is your quote from The Journal of Labor Economics? See if you can clarify the relation between what you're saying her and this source within the source.
As a follow up to my last comment: I read the rest of your draft and it is also strong and clear - a big improvement from your first essay in terms of how you are using text. You still want a lot more development and elaboration: use the follow up questions from the assignment to help with this. Remember to bring in your second text.
ReplyDeleteIn your paragraph about the graph, you need to be a little more specific about what it shows. Look at your sentence "the graph shows there are a higher percentage of black men than white who are unemployed." Is this exactly what it shows? Look again.
Also look for ways for your first and last paragraph not to be quite so broad- see if you can make a link from the historical context to what's going on now that's more specific and does more to catch the reader's attention.
Good work - keep at it!